04 September 2013 ved 18:44
It seems as if little could surprise a present-day person in terms of sex. However, swingers break all the records in triggering astonishment among average people, even those rather liberated in sexual behaviour. What can be the reason for it? Most likely it can be explained by the fact that swinging mockingly neglects one of the basic instincts existing between the sexual partners, that is the instinct of possession. By the way, it is considered to be a completely normal instinct. We are not speaking here about a hypertrophic sense of ownership which verges on insanity and makes the majority of people subject to it divorce or break up.
Swinging is a consented short-term swapping of sexual partners, most frequently it is encountered among the partners in a committed relationship. Swingers claim that such swapping is not only in the least related to shaking one partner’s faith in the other, but also strengthens the relationships. Is it really so? And why then a usual infidelity, even one-time, is a psychological trauma, betrayal, the main reason for divorces, but swinging is only a kind of training for a couple that helps to improve their relationships? Can it really be true? Is swinging a dangerous deviation from the norm or is it just a pleasant way to add variety to an otherwise conventional sex life or sometimes even a means of saving it?
First of all, it should be admitted from the start that there exist different forms of swinging. There exists “soft” swinging. This type implies a kind of sex when the couples engage in sexual activity being in close proximity to each other but without swapping the partners. A mild variant, so to say. There also exists “light” swinging. The first meaning of it implies only foreplaying with the participation of other partners, oral sex is permissible by this variant but vaginal penetration is not. The second meaning of this term is the participation of the third partner in the sexual intercourse of a couple. “Open” swinging is a kind of group sex with the participation of two or more couples swapping the partners. The intercourse takes place on condition of the couples watching each other. “Closed” swinging means swapping the partners for sexual activity in a private environment. That is why, consenting to your partner’s suggestion of trying swinging it is essential to precise which exactly form is meant in this particular case, otherwise you run the risk of finding yourself in a rather awkward situation. For example, you agree to try swinging and spend all the day waiting for group sex, but your spouse will just give you a gentle kiss on your cheek and withdraw accompanied by a languishing beauty in an unknown direction. With your permission.
As a rule, swingers claim that following a set of particular rules helps them to save the relationship and trust in the couple. Most frequently you must deny a phrase like “ You should feel good because your beloved person feels so”. The statement itself implies a certain degree of violence against yourself and your desires. Moreover, a question arises why then the beloved person does not bother about your satisfaction and afterwards his own. And if you are a woman, then in the majority of cases you feel good, comfortable and wonderful exactly without swinging.
After all, of course, everything is very individual. If both partners dream about swinging then why not? The problem is that most frequently it is one of the partners who is eager to try swinging. And then he either inspires the other one with this idea or lingers over this topic for such a long time that his partner, willing to please his beloved, finally consents or even pretends to take the initiative. Certainly, in the majority of cases it is a man who really wants to try swinging, and a woman only concedes. In such a situation swinging is unlikely to improve the relationships. One of the partners who decided to concede eventually will feel jealous, and even if it does not manifest itself at once, the feeling will become even more dangerous when accumulated and suppressed. That is why, if you want to suggest your partner swinging, first think about his genuine attitude to it as you fancy it. And then observe his reaction to your offer very attentively. But if it is you who get such an offer do not hurry to agree, weigh up your genuine attitude to swinging, especially when it concerns you and your beloved person. Read through the responses to swinging on the forums. There has been rather a great number of stories with a sad ending, when one of the partners in the process of swinging finally realized that the temporary partner attracted him more. So, listen to your heart!
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Ifølge statistikk, 50% av kvinnene et sidesprang i et forpliktende samarbeid. 23% av kvinnene hadde en trekant, mens 46% av dem drømmer. Omtrent 7% av kvinnene hadde mer enn 50 seksualpartnere over hele verden.