Kvinders sundhed

10 februar 2011 klokken 9:02


Adultery

Adultery

Conjugal infidelity, adultery (from French adultère) is a voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and another one who is not his or her spouse.

Adultery. How to cope with it? How can the inevitable psychological alienation be overcome? Can adultery be forgiven? Should one put up with constant adultery of a spouse in order to keep the family? These questions are asked by millions of people every day. 
Adultery is the main reason for divorce suits in the present-day society and an extremely tough psychological ordeal. A great number of cheated spouses being ruled by emotions make decisions in haste. Exactly at the period of time when every step should be carefully thought over. The solution prompted by your raging emotions and the feeling of insulted self-respect is not necessarily optimal, but can happen to be the greatest mistake in your life.
The most wide-spread mistake of cheated spouses is the immediate spreading of the terrible news among their friends and relatives. Of course, sometimes it is vitally necessary to hear, “He’s a bastard not worthy of you!” or “She’s a bitch!”, but first think about the consequences. First of all, if you finally decide to forgive your unfaithful spouse (do not make a vow not to do it, since your better half can start moving mountains to win back your love) you will face one more problem. You will need some time to heal the wounds, and additionally you will have to restore good relationships between your spouse and the close people, as they are not likely to chat sweetly with a person who caused you such grief. That is why you’d better think of other ways to get the trouble off your chest, perhaps you should read the opinions of those who overcame adultery on the forums, perhaps the perfect decision is to consult a psychologist, since he will listen to you and render professional support. 
It is not useful to share the neglectful ideas about your spouse’s character with him or her personally either. It will be no use but will alienate you even further.
Similarly, you should not run like a lamplighter to court with your divorce request, you will always have time for this. It is quite understood that seeing the unfaithful spouse is very hard, that is why the best way out might be a quiet getaway to your relatives or friends for a couple of days.
Making a decision either to forgive your beloved person or to leave him/her, listen to your heart but do not forget about common sense. If adultery was committed repeatedly and you have no reason to suppose it was the last one, then you must think if such a situation is convenient for you and if you would like to live through this again and again. Everybody can make a mistake, but it is essential to find out the true motives of such an action, whether it was a mistake the person honestly regrets now or it was a direct consequence of a person’s indifference to you. Anyway, the things that happen between the two people can be best known only to them and that it why they should make a decision themselves.

Vidste du?

I Iran siden 1990 en grusom dødsstraf ægteskabsbrud. Manden kan dræbe kvinden for utroskab. I den kinesiske provins Guangdong udenomsægteskabelig seksuelle relationer er forbudt ved lov. I Indonesien, skal den utro ægtefælle fængslet op til 15 år.

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Victoria Nielsen

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